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Helping heuristics

Helping Heuristics are simple, practical tools that help individuals gain insight into their own interaction patterns and make better choices in how they support others. They offer a structured way to reflect on and improve helping behaviors in real time.
What It Makes Possible:
  • Self-Awareness: Participants recognize their default helping habits and how those affect collaboration.
  • Intentional Change: Encourages people to shift from automatic responses to more thoughtful, effective helping strategies.
  • Quick Decision-Making: Heuristics act as mental shortcuts that guide people in new or uncertain situations.
  • Productive Interactions: A series of short exchanges reveals simple, actionable “rules of thumb” for offering help that is actually helpful.
How It Works:
  • Participants engage in brief, structured conversations that surface their helping patterns.
  • They experiment with alternative approaches and reflect on the impact.
  • Over time, they build a personal toolkit of heuristics for more generative collaboration.

  • Time needed

    15 minutes

  • Preparation

    1. Miro Board (online) or paper (F2F)
    2. Split into smaller groups (3 people) - prepare the rooms online in Teams

  • How to start

    1. There will be 4 rounds of 1–2-minute improvised interactions. Groups choose one member to be a “client,” another a “coach,” with the third acting as “observer.” Roles can stay the same or change from round to round.

  • Step-by-step and timing

    1. Explanation of the four rounds (2 min)
    2. During every round the person in the role of client shares a challenge he or she is passionate about. While the observer pays close attention, the coach responds in a sequence of patterns that is different for each round as follows:
      • 1st round: the response pattern is “Quiet Presence”: the coach accepts all offers with compassionate listening [see Heard, Seen, Respected (HSR)]. (2 min)
      • 2nd round: the response pattern is “Guided Discovery”: the coach accepts all offers, guiding inquiry for mutual discoveries (see Appreciative Interview). (2 min)
      • 3rd round: the response pattern is “Loving Provocation”: the coach interjects advice, accepting and blocking as needed when the coach sees something that the client does not see (see Troika Consulting). (2 min)
      • 4th round: the response pattern is “Process Mindfulness”: the coach and client accept all offers from each other, working at the top of their intelligence while noticing how novel possibilities are amplified. 2 min.
    3. Debrief the impact of all four helping patterns as experienced by clients, coaches, and observers. (5 min)
    4. Based on the debrief, repeat all rounds or only some for all participants to practice various response patterns.

  • Hints

    1. Encourage people to change roles in each round
    2. Focus on patterns that will help the client finding his or her own solutions
    3. After initial cycle, let trios choose the patterns they want to focus on in their group

  • Examples of use

    1. Change unwanted giving help patterns: premature solutions; unneeded advice; adding pressure to force use of advice; moving to next steps too quickly;
    2. Change unwanted asking for help patterns: mistrusting; not sharing real problem; accepting help without ownership; looking for validation, not help; resenting not getting enough

  • Link with other Liberating Structures

    Link with:

    Appreciative interviews

    Improv prototyping

    Heard, seen, respected

    Simple etnography

    Troika consulting

    What I need from you

    Wise crowds

  • Link to Liberating Structures page

    Helping heuristics

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